5 Comments
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Mark Urbano's avatar

Make that two for “scattered, smothered, covered, and chunked”!

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Adam Booher's avatar

We can share a double order!!

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Chris Rockett's avatar

Just scattered. I love hash browns so much that I wouldn't think of adulterating them with foreign ingredients. I just want that pure salty, greasy, Maillard-reacted potato delight.

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Adam Booher's avatar

I'm getting hungry! What are your thoughts about tots? Crispy on the outside, tender on the inside...

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Chris Rockett's avatar

I think you well know the answer to that question, though if tots were smashed into something more like a cake, you'd get more browned surface area.

I once entered a tater tot eating contest. Except that they greatly underestimated the number of people who would enter and they only had one deep frying vat. Dumping a bunch of frozen tots in it obviously cooled down the oil, so they just absorbed a whole lot of oil. Then they realized they'd never be able to fry enough to meet the quantity needed for a volume-based eating competition and instead changed it to a speed-based one. I declined to participate at that point - because I'm an endurance athlete, not a sprinter. Having shown up to the competition well-fasted in the hope to really kick ass, I instead just sat and ate leisurely a bowl of soggy, room temperature, oil-soaked tot-mush.

Total letdown.

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