August 22, 2023 - Boone, Sisters, Moving, Change

For our new subscribers, I promise it isn't always this poignant. I'll get back to the "cocaine bears and Velveeta martinis" type content next week.

Nuggets of Information: Always Ready for the Next Adventure 

The town of Boone, North Carolina was founded in 1849 by a group of settlers from Tennessee. It was named after Daniel Boone, the famous frontiersman who started the coon-skin cap look that persists to this day. He was friends with Davy Crockett, had ten children with his wife Rebecca, and helped blaze the Wilderness Road, the main route used by settlers to travel to Kentucky.  

The population of Boone is approximately 19,000 people, but that doubles when Appalachian State University is in session. The elevation is 3,333 feet, the highest elevation for a city with more than 10,000 people east of the Mississippi River. Boone receives on average around 25 inches of snowfall annually, and its winter climate is more similar to coastal southern New England than the Southeast.

Some of the famous Boone natives/residents include: 

• Doc Watson- bluegrass musician 

• Michael Houser – founder and lead guitarist of Widespread Panic 

• Tommy Gregg, Ryder Jones and Coaker Triplett – Major League Baseball players 

• Bob Matheson & John Hollar – NFL players 

• Samantha Booher – undergrad student, musician, daughter, sister, future teacher 

The rest of this Boo’s N.E.W.S. is devoted to the last entry on this list, who moved into her freshman dorm this past Thursday. If you’ve been a subscriber for a while, you may recall previous articles leading up to this: 

Graduation 

Taking Time to Reflect 

Thanks for letting me lean into the therapeutic benefits of writing this week. I needed it…

Enrichment:  Putting the “B” in BFF

“I moved out and I made some new friends 
Sometimes when I shout, it feels like no one hears it 
And there are some days when I think that, somewhere, you're watching 
As I grow up without you 
I miss it, I miss you”

—chemtrails, Lizzy McAlpine 

The bond between Samantha and Alex is strong, and we have been most curious about how they would both react to this change. Lisa didn’t have any siblings, and my sisters were older than me by several years, so neither of us ever experienced this type of close-sibling separation.  

When Alex and Samantha were little, they shared a bedroom. We would put them to bed, then retire to the living room to watch TIVO. Often, Alex would toddle up the hall about twenty minutes after bedtime, asking for a hug. We would oblige, and walk her back to bed, explaining that she had to stop coming down the hallway, and she needed to stay in her bed. One time I was outside their door, and I heard Samantha encouraging Alex to get out of bed and go see us. “No Samantha – I'll get in trouble.” Samantha: “It’s okay Alex – you should go do it.” Alex: “Ok Samantha. If you say so.” Busted! All that time we thought it was Alex breaking the bedtime rules, but it was Samantha! At that early age Alex trusted Samantha, looking to her for answers. Soon after, Samantha got her own bedroom, but they still slept together often – especially afternoon naps.  

Lisa and I are very grateful for their relationship. They really do seem to care for each other. They even have an affectionate nickname they use for each other - “B” - as in “Hey B – come here!” or “Hey B – let's go get food.” I asked if “B” stood for “Bestie” or “Booher.” It does not.  

Lisa and Samantha drove up on Tuesday, and Alex & I came up the next day, after school. Alex and I arrived in Boone as the daylight started to turn golden, and I dropped her off outside Samantha’s dorm. They went off to a big concert, “Boon-aroo” at the main student quad area, Sanford Mall. The next day during move-in, Lisa and I ran errands and Alex stayed with Samantha – helping her decorate her room, and even taking a nap. As much as I wanted to spend every second with Samantha, it was important for all of us to give them that time together.  

Towards the end of our time there, Samantha & Alex spent a few minutes recording a TikTok, while Lisa and I looked for any last tasks to do. It was very emotional, as you can imagine. Even though they are now 280 miles apart, they are talking, or texting, or whatever it is they do. On Friday, Alex let us know Samantha had taken her first shower in the dorm. Starved for information, we demanded all the details. Alex said, “I don’t know – she took a shower?”  

Samantha is focused on her entirely new environment. Alex is a junior in high school, the top half of the high school food chain, and is in more control of her path than ever before. She has several AP classes, and studies with friends after school and on the weekends. She now has a little more space to operate, and she seems to be in a good groove.  

The morning of move-in, I woke up before the girls, and there they were, asleep in the same bed, like so many times before. I snapped the picture above. Two sisters, not ready to start the day, unsure of what lies ahead, not quite ready to say goodbye, but there for each other no matter how many miles would soon be between them. 

Workshop: Two Parents & a Sister Moving Company 

“Don't worry about a thing
'Cause every little thing is gonna be alright”

—Three Little Birds, Bob Marley & the Wailers

As this is the Workshop section, where I share what I’ve been working on, let’s go behind the scenes of moving our kid into her dorm. Earlier this summer, at orientation, we learned what room she would be in, which then led to us knowing what date and time she would be moving in. The date was circled in red on our shared Google calendar.  

Each student was allowed 30 minutes to unload cars, which then had to be relocated miles away in satellite parking lots. We had two cars full of stuff, organized into large rectangular bags, similar to the blue IKEA bags. Each bag labeled with contents. Boxes for some items. Guitar. Posters and picture board. Hand truck and wagon. Go-bag with everything we could need.  

Our window of time was 8:00-11:00am. We arrived around 8:15, parked, and started unloading. Lisa took the fully loaded wagon, and I loaded up the hand truck. I slowly, carefully eased it down the steep Blue Ridge Mountain parking lot to the sidewalk, picked up the bags that promptly rolled off, and then headed to the dorm.  

Up the elevator and everything unloaded. I went back for a remaining half load, stopping to help a guy whose hand truck spilled over at the bottom of the driveway.  

Once transport duties were completed, I started my assembly work. Desk topper and shelving unit. Desk topper came with a sad little screwdriver. I used my cordless drill. The shelving unit came with its own tiny hammer. I used the cute little tiny hammer! Aw! I felt like Buddy the Elf in Santa’s workshop.  

Her room is across from the bathroom, and not far from the elevator. Her decorating is fun and relaxing – big furry papasan chair, and posters of tons of people from Harry Styles and Amy Winehouse to Frank Ocean, Boy Genius and even Jeff Probst from Survivor. Ok Jeff! 

Lisa had worked closely with Samantha to find every possible organizational item needed. Mad props to Lisa for all her hard work. If she was on Survivor, her lean-to would be very thoughtfully decorated. We met Samantha’s roommate, who is very nice. No concerns there.  

She has a cool dorm – I would hang out there. She’s going to be just fine.  

Selected Content: New Verses 

Change, like the wind, like the water, like skin, 

Change, like the sky, like the leaves, like a butterfly 

—Change - Big Thief 

I was chatting with my friend Richard Porter, whose daughter Caryline also just left for college. He and his wife Jennifer are now empty-nesters. When I asked him how he was doing, he explained that it is like there is a void. It is similar yet different to when they are off at summer camp. I totally get it. 

Our house is a little quieter, emptier. Samantha’s bedroom shares a wall with our bedroom, and many nights we could hear her playing guitar and singing through the wall. Over the last couple years she would come out of her room at night with her guitar and just play and sing songs she had learned. How did I get so lucky to have live music in my home?  Here is an example of what would happen on a random night:

When it came time to say goodbye, we had a family hug, and then each took turns hugging Samantha. It came so fast. One moment we are casually finding the right places for things and the next thing we know, full on sad time, tears, red puffy eyes. But it was okay. Something I’d been dreading for ten years was just so... right. I hugged Samantha, and I don’t remember exactly what I said. Something about how I love her, am proud of her, and that she’s got this. She is one of the most even-keeled people I know. She is very chill. But as we looked at each other one last time, her eyes were puffy, and wet, and she was sad and seemed unsure, but it was okay. She is right where she needs to be. Her songs need to find new audiences. I will never forget how she looked at that moment. I flashed her a peace sign and walked out.