August 8, 2023 - Moss Piglets, Wildflowers, Beards, Gastronomy

Rearrange the letters in Boo's N.E.W.S. and you can spell Nose Bows, which might relate to this week's Workshop article?

Nuggets of Information: Very Good Grades 

If you had asked me back in 2011 what animal I would like to be if I could be any animal, I would have answered honey badger. But these days I would go with the simple yet elegant tardigrade. Like me, it is an omnivore and has been nicknamed “moss piglet.” Unlike me, it is 0.5mm in length, has been on the earth for 600 million years, and can survive in just about any climate.  

While they look cute – like little manatees – they are pretty ferocious little buggers. They have bear-like claws and super sharp teeth that rip into and suck the juices out of moss and algae. Some species are carnivorous. 

Their resiliency is what stands out as their most impressive quality. Tardigrades can survive extreme temperatures, ranging from minus 328°F up to 304°F. They have been found all over the world – from the top of the Himalayas to the very bottom of the ocean, from frozen Arctic areas to inside hot springs. In 2007, tardigrades were sent into space for experiments, and after 10 days of exposure to the vacuum of space and radiation, over 2/3 survived and were able to reproduce. There is also reason to believe there are tardigrades on the moon. In April 2019, the Israeli lunar lander Beresheet, carrying a load of tardigrades, crashed onto the Moon’s surface. Scientists strongly believe that the tardigrades would have survived and are thriving in their new environment.

Tardigrades, whose name means “slow paced” live in water, but when they lose access to it, they curl up into a little ball called a tun and enter a state of hibernation called cryptobiosis. They can stay in this state for decades. Once they are reintroduced to water, they perk up in a few hours, and go back to looking for some algae to eat. While in the tun state, they are easily picked up by the wind and can blow around until they land in a hospitable climate, where they can then reproduce asexually and start a colony. Again – something I cannot do but wish I could.  

For more information on tardigrades, check out this video. 

Enrichment:  Runnin’ Down a Dream 

On our flight to Chicago last week, I scrolled through the onboard entertainment system’s list of content and was delighted to find “Tom Petty: Somewhere You Feel Free - The Making of Wildflowers”. Released in late 2021, Mary Wharton’s documentary pulls together recently discovered 16mm films from the period of 1993-1995, when Petty teamed up with legendary music producer Rick Rubin to work on what was intended to be a solo double album, Wildflowers. Petty later claimed that this was his favorite album he made.  

The intimate, behind-the-scenes footage gives a rare glimpse into the typically private life of Petty and does not shy away from some of the tension and conflicts going on in his life at that time. His goal was to not make another Heartbreakers album, but he ended up pulling in most of his band, with the notable exception of drummer Stan Lynch, whose exit from the band is included in the documentary.  

Petty’s crumbling relationship with his wife Joan is also featured and lays the foundation of the album. Petty’s daughter Adria, one of the executive producers of the film, shares her experiences from during that time. It was apparent to her (and others) that Tom’s marriage to Joan was ending, and that context makes the lyrics from the title track Wildflowers even more meaningful: 

You belong among the wildflowers 
You belong in a boat out at sea 
Sail away, kill off the hours 
You belong somewhere you feel free 
 
Run away, find you a lover 
Go away somewhere all bright and new 
I have seen no other 
Who compares with you 

Tom Petty is on my Mount Rushmore of rock legends. He was incredibly prolific, one of our best singers and lyricists. I was lucky to see him live back on July 28, 1987 at the West Palm Beach Auditorium – almost 36 years to the day I happened to watch this documentary on my flight. If you are at all a fan of Petty, I encourage you to check out this documentary – it is free on YouTube.  

Workshop: Not by the Hair of My Chinny-chin-chin 

I have sported a beard for the last 8 years, but last week I shaved it off. I had originally grown it both to look distinguished and to hide my extra chins. Now that I’ve lost that chin weight, and my monocle & top hat establish my distinguishing vibe, I wanted to see what my bare face looked like. Plus, August is hot, and I don’t need a blanket around my face.  

Initial feedback is that I look younger. My older daughter says I look weird and encouraged me to grow it back as quickly as possible. I’ll take those as compliments! I will keep it this way for a bit but will most likely regrow it during the fall to protect my cherubic visage from the cold Atlanta winter. 

Other than adding to the list of things your kids think are weird about you, being clean shaved has other advantages. Alexander the Great had his men shave their beards so their enemies couldn’t grab hold of them in battle. 98% of the Forbes 100 list of richest men are clean-shaven. If any of your friends suffer from pogonophobia, the fear of beards, your face will put them at ease. 

On the flip side, there are advantages to sporting a beard. Over 55% of men around the world have beards or other facial hair (33% beard rate in the United States). As the average male face has approximately 30,000 whiskers around their face, a beard can help protect your face from up to 95% of the sun’s harmful UV rays, according to a study by the University of Southern Queensland. Additionally, the very act of shaving can irritate the skin and spread bacteria around your face. 

Beards are prevalent in popular culture as well. I would be remiss if I didn’t include a band famous for beards: ZZ Top. Sure, they could have gotten by on the strength of such family-friendly songs as Tush, Legs and Tube-Snake Boogie. But what really made them stand out from the beautiful MTV pop stars of the ‘80s were the impressive beards of Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill. Drummer Frank Beard did not have a beard but had a sweet ‘stache. 

More recently, fans of Ted Lasso followed the quirky and unique character “Coach Beard,” a cornerstone of the show. In this Vanity Fair article, show creators discuss the character's history and development. Due to the enormous popularity of the first season, AppleTV ordered season 2 to be expanded from 8 episodes to 10 episodes. As the season had already been written, two standalone episodes were added. One of them, “Beard After Hours” focused on Brendan Hunt’s character outside of his role with the team. It is funny, weird and memorable – just like Coach Beard.  

If you are thinking of growing a beard, or changing up your existing beard, check out this video about the 8 Beard Styles Every Man Needs to Know.  

Selected Content: Ew the Dew 

If your culinary horizons were expanded by the Grimace Shake, you may be eager to try other unique creations. With that in mind, here is my list of the most creative, bizarre and unusual nourishment from across the inter-webs.  

• Mountain Dew Dew Dogs – Boo’s N.E.W.S. Muse Lisa submitted the picture above for our consideration. While the picture turned out to be an internet fake, Phil from the “Mountain Duo” shares his attempts to bring it to life.  

• The Minnesota State Fair features 300 vendors serving 500 types of food, including 80 on a stick. Minnesota seems to come up most often in searches for “state fairs weird food.” This video reviews such creative items as “Buffalo Chicken Doughscuits,” “Pastrami-wrapped Pickle Dogs” Elvis-inspired “Memphis Totchos” and “Chicken & Mac ‘n Cheese Waffles.” 

• Not to be outdone by their southern neighbors, the Calgary Stampede features their own selection of odd foods, including the “Flamin’ Hot Popcorn Chicken Poutine,” “Crispy Pig Ear on a Stick,” and the “Pickleback Dog” which is NOT related to Nickleback, another Canadian creation people find unappetizing.  

• Big Cheez-It Tostada & Crunchwrap Supreme - One of the top scientific breakthroughs of the 21st century is the Doritos Locos Taco from Taco Bell. Taco Bell engineers next experimented with using a giant Cheez-It as the crunchy base for a couple of their other menu items. Finally this STEM thing has started to do some good.

• Mustard Skittles - If you are looking for a Skittle you can put on your Chicago-style hot dog and not be chastised, consider the new collaboration between French’s and Mars. Apparently, the limited release cities include Atlanta, so if you come across them, please grab some for me. We can shoot a review video together which I’ll share in an upcoming issue. 

• Velveeta Martinis – How do you win the heart of that attractive carny you met at the Calgary Stampede? Invite them back to your trailer, slip on Nickelback’s seminal album Silver Side Up, and pour a couple Velveeta Martinis. Nothing more romantic than a martini made with North America’s favorite shelf-stable boxed cheese.

Until next week, eat well, shave .. or don’t, and forward this to a friend!